New Life to “Waterfalls” by TLC

On waking up this morning I did my normal morning routine of waking up hungry and planning my next meal in my head (Egg in a hole, cereal, leftovers…cake) into checking out what’s happening in the world, what I missed from last night, and going over blogs I subscribe to all from the comfort of my bed while mumbling to myself “do I have to adult today…”

Sometimes I find little treasures in all the morning muck like i did this morning. Some people cover songs that hold a special place for me and they just ruin it ๐Ÿ™ ย and sometimes they surprise me and are AWESOME! All that to say, I wanted to share with y’all a version of TLC’s “Waterfalls” covered by the coaches from “The Voice” TV show. I have never seen an episode of this show and what i know of it is, it’s a reality TV show similar to “American Idol”? I don’t find much joy in reality TV so there’s that.

Alicia Keys, Adam Levine, Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani: “Waterfalls” – The Voice 2017

Check it out, I think it’s FRIGGIN AWESOME! and it brings back hilarious memories of struggling to learn Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez’ rap (See it below) portion ๐Ÿ™‚ in high-school. It’s just too good!

I seen a rainbow yesterday
But too many storms have come and gone
Leavin’ a trace of not one God-given ray
Is it because my life is ten shades of gray
I pray all ten fade away
Seldom praise Him for the sunny days
And like his promise is true
Only my faith can undo
The many chances I blew
To bring my life to anew
Clear blue and unconditional skies
Have dried the tears from my eyes
No more lonely cries
My only bleedin’ hope
Is for the folk who can’t cope
Wit such an endurin’ pain
That it keeps ’em in the pourin’ rain
Who’s to blame
For tootin’ caine in your own vein
What a shame
You shoot and aim for someone else’s brain
You claim the insane
And name this day in time
For fallin prey to crime
I say the system got you victim to your own mind
Dreams are hopeless aspirations
In hopes of comin’ true
Believe in yourself
The rest is up to me and you

I went ahead and attached the whole “Crazy, Sexy, Cool” album by TLC here just because, ENJOY!

 

 


The Breakups…

Since starting this new blog adventure I have opened some wounds and done a lot of self reflecting all for what I’m hoping selfishly is for my greater good and for a greater purpose. This reflection has me looking into my past and present relationships; the good, bad, and ugly. I know every relationship ย has ups, downs, twists and turns and I believe there are lessons in ALL of it. Please note when I’m speaking of breakups, I’m referencing all types of breakups, meaning friendships as well, because they’re ALL a part of us.

With age I have come to realize that breakups no matter how we wish they were, are NOT always easy. After a breakup it’s as if little mine fields are strategically placed in various places that you once shared. Each step has to be gingerly taken as to save yourself from a triggered hypothetical blow-up. A breakup is more than just a person. For a while after they leave you feel the break up in the everyday, in restaurants, in favorite foods, in the parks or hikes you’ve gone on, in music (ugh! the music), in gifts, even in a smell. I used to beat myself up thinking; I’m smarter and better than this, how did I let this person impact me this way, how could I have loved them…I would place blame for it all on myself. Of course every relationship is different and we all should take responsibility for our faults and/or mistakes but taking the brunt or weight of a relationship in its entirety is NOT our responsibility.

Look old memories, places, and things in the face and tell them; “it’s over! I’m better because of this, you were not meant for me!” then when you’re ready create new memories in those places, move the furniture around, buy new sheets, new towels, grab your friends and have a dance party to the music that reminds you of them, go to those restaurants and laugh with your girls. Take control, love yourself. Create NEW memories. Let go of every second you spent wherever and however you spent it thinking you made a mistake in that relationship, questioning your self-worth. This is part of your story. He, She, They, It was a part of your story. In this hurt you will learn and grow and you will realize, that preferably sooner than later, you’re strong and ready to move forward. There ARE more fish in the sea!

 

Sometimes the most valuable lesson that a person can teach you is that you CAN do better than them.

Today, ask yourself; who were you before they broke your heart? Find that person again, love on that person, let yourself heal. Take a moment, sit back and marvel at your life, at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that made you wise to what you want and deserve in a relationship, at the suffering that made you stronger. Despite everything, you are growing! You still grow. Be proud of this.

I know that healing comes in waves that there’s no fast process. Maybe today your wave will crash into rocks and that’s okay! because maybe next month or year or even tomorrow your waves won’t be waves at all, but instead a calm glistening ocean.

 


How did I miss National Margarita Day?!

I’ve seen so many pictures of Margaritas all over social media the last couple of days. Little did i know National Margarita Day was this past Wednesday! But i won’t let that stop me ๐Ÿ˜‰ from enjoying a margarita over the weekend. As my better half says “EVERYDAY is National Margarita Day!”, Spoken like a true Texan.

One of my absolute favorite places to enjoy a margarita here in Austin is a bit of a whole in the wall, Azul Tequila. Azul Tequila has what you’ve probably already guessed, a blue margarita (pictured above) and this beautiful blue beauty is delish! I prefer it on the rocks but it’s also offered blended. If your not in the mood for a margarita at Azul Tequila you may also enjoy the Blue Martini, but be careful too many of either of these will have you wobbling around like a baby smurf. So make sure to eat up! Azul Tequila is also one of my favorite restaurants to find Interior Mexican food. Fromย PESCADO YUCATECO:ย Sautรฉed fish fillet over a plantain leaf, topped with Yucateco sauce, served with avocado salad and plantains. Toย CABRITO AL MAGUEY:ย South central Mexican style barbacoa, goat meat marinated with chile guajillo and spices slow cooked on maguey leaves, served with salsa verde, Mexican rice and charro bean, you’ll have a lot to choose from. I’ve yet to have anything that wasn’t delicioso here.

Go give them a try and let me know what you think! and let’s be honest margarita’s shouldn’t be confined to one ding dang day ๐Ÿ˜‰ย 

Happy Fri-Yay y’all! Go get your margarita on!


Is it the weekend yet?

Good Morning Friends! Since we’re heading into the weekend, Let’s talk brunch shall we? I recently had the pleasure of experiencing brunch at Chicon, here in Austin, Texas. As we celebrated Tess’s (one of my bff’s) birthday , as a “Tribe” we shared laughs and great food.

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From delicious cocktails (brunch without cocktails is just breakfast after all) to a table full of food, everything was amazing! For the table we started withย Banana Breadย with chamomile butter,ย Spiced Pinenut Muffin with lemon mascarpone, and Kimchi Deviled Eggs topped with crispy chicken skin, Yummy! For the main brunch course I ordered theย The Elvis,ย pork belly, bourbon bananas, peanut butter mousse, brioche, topped with housemade whipped coconut cream. While the rest of the tribe ordered ย the popularย Breakfast Sandwich, aย fried egg, bacon, romaine, tomato, served with an everything (i didn’t even know these existed!) bun, and a side of fries.

If you are looking for a new placeย for brunch in the hip and trendy east side of Austin, Chicon is a great spot to try!


Who I am today…

Born to a Mexican teenage mother (pregnant at 17, yikes!) who refused to be another “statistic” so she stayed in school. Which means I was mostly raised between my grandma and my mom while she completed school. Enter in the amazing man I still call Daddy, if you haven’t figured it out, he is notย my biological father. This man took me into his heart and life as his own and taught me that blood isn’t the most important thing. His love came to teach me so much as an adult that as a child i didn’t realize.

Now, back to the scheduled program…Right before turning 4 yrs.old mom put me into ballet, little did I know ballet would become my life. I began auditioning and was accepted into my ย first ballet company at 8 yrs.old and would continue on until I was 28 yrs.old. Here’s the inception of my struggles with food, anxiety, and body image. Living the life of a classically trained ballerina/ dancer requires maintaining your weight and body mass. Even at a very young age I was being weighed in, constantly fitted, and watching my diet. Ballet would create such juxtaposition growing up. As a second generation Mexicana I would help grandma cook daily and loved learning her quirky, non-measuring, mixing un-expected ingredients way of doing everything. We’d make tamales, tortillas, caldos, and one of my favorite things, ย arroz con leche (if you haven’t had this, stayed tuned, subscribe and I will share the recipe soon) but these are not the foods that ballerinas eat. I had to focus on staying skinny and fit, this meant sticking to set foods and endless hours of ballet classes and rehearsals. Ballerinas at the time (80’s and 90’s, yeah yeah showing my age) ย were also not often brown skinned. At home I was made fun of and treated differently by relatives for living in a “white world” then in my “ballet” world I was treated differently or at times as a “token”. I didn’t feel I had a place or fit in anywhere. I wanted to be pleasing and “enough” for everyone. I wanted to fit this made up role that meant not only was I not truly known by many, butย I didn’t even know who I was. This would help me to become who I am today.

Years later I would get involved with a man who I thought cared for me. About 6 months into dating him, he began to beat me. I would get beaten if another man looked at me, if i had any sort of tone he felt disrespected by, or even if I would make a face he felt was directed at him. This then turned into rape. Moreย times then I can share, he would hold his gun to my head and rape me or make me perform fellatio. He would tell me that if i left he would kill me, that I was his, he would find me where ever I was.ย I lived in constant fear that this would happen, i felt paralyzed. this went on for almost a year. Eventually after he stalked and nearly killed me, he was arrested and placed in jail. It has taken me years and years to get to a point that I can even discuss this. I lived for so long in shame, placing my abuse and rapes on myself. Feeling as if it was all my fault, I put myself in this position, i dated him after all, I should have known better. To this day he is still ever present in my life. Loud noises, quick movements, even an unintentional arm raise to say hello can make me jump out of my skin. This to would help me to become who I am today.

This years Easter will mark 4 yrs. since I was baptized. I was raised Catholic, I even attendedย catechism and went to confession. As I became older, I realized I was in search of “something” more, something that could cover up this hurt inside, something that could fill the void, something that could help me feel like I was “enough”. I always knew but I didn’t know that “something” pulling on my heart was….. God. I spent Sundays trying out church after church but struggled to find comfort. After months and feeling as though maybe church wasn’t for me, a friend invited me to The Austin Stone Community Church. I was hesitant but accepted. That day was the beginning of my life anew! Soon after that first day I began to serve on the Welcome team and Austin Stone “kids” ministry. I’d always felt a tugging on my heart but now I recognized that tugging as our Father God, I’d always felt a weird gnawing or grumble in my tummy (to be honest I just thought I was hungry) now I recognize that this gnawing is The Holy Spirit. This is who I am today.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans of welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and hope; Jeremiah 29:11, and praise Jesus, for this hope! In the words of Ann Voskamp “He whispers to your scars, you are my beloved; except his invitation to be his imitation.” I AM a daughter of The King and my story is NO MISTAKE. Your story is NO MISTAKE. We as a people cannot reconcile what we do not recognize and comprehension doesn’t begin without conversation, so here I am starting a conversation with you. I am baring myself to you to help bring healing not only to myself but hopefully my story can bring you or someone you know healing. Maybe my story can bring you understanding or hopefully there’s a pull your feeling to get to know God. I am here for you.

I can look back now and see ballet and dance provided me the opportunity to travel all over and experience different cultures and people, when otherwise I may not have had the opportunity. I can look back now and know that even in my suffering God was with me and if the spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you (me) , he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his spirit who dwells in you; Romans 8:11. I am a sinner, I am not a perfect example, but I am a living example. I am here to open the door to my less than perfect life to you…