Hello my dear Lovers! How are y’all doing? As for me, I’ve been having a stretch of contemplative days. A few days ago I celebrated my 38th birthday, so go figure that I’ve been evaluating/thinking on my life and choices. Could I be more basic?! 😉 haha! I guess I’d like to think that we all go through this on our birthdays.
Anyway, let’s do a little talking about the things we learn in our lives as we get older. For me the last handful of years have been, what I would say, the most fruitful thus far.
It’s been filled with up and downs, challenges, and successes, just as I would imagine yours has been too. In my 37 years I have learned a lot! but for time and attention sake here are 5 of the most important things I’ve learned:
- I’m a daughter of The King: My relationship with God is THE most important relationship I have. If God can close the mouth of lions for Daniel, part the Red Seas for Moses, make the sun stand still for Joshua, open the prison for Peter, put a baby in the arms of Sarah, and raise Lazarus from the dead, THEN He can certainly take care of YOU! NOTHING you’re facing today or any day is too hard for him to handle.
- The comparison game hurts: I doesn’t matter what walk of life we’re talking about; if you are a blogger like me, a parent, or even a college student … anxiety and comparison are real! Living in this day and age of social media, everyone’s lives seem so perfectly filtered. We don’t see the hurt, struggles, and brokenness on the other side of the lens. Truthfully, I deal with this daily. Sometimes I can allow myself to get lost walking down that very dark comparison road, it quickly turns into a never-ending black hole that’s incredibly hard to pull myself out of. Am I where God wants me? Am I doing what God wants me to be doing? Am I a good wife, step-mom, friend, person? Am I any good at this blogging? does what I’m doing matter? am I pretty enough? skinny enough?… the list goes on….. Turning off the noise in your own head and staying on track in any walk of life is difficult — but well worth the effort and it will most definitely result in strength. Comparison is a daily struggle – something to recognize and be aware of, and something that will only bring you down, not lift you up! When you feel yourself walking down that road turn the other way! Pray it out, talk it out, put the phone down, shut off the computer and give yourself some air! I promise you’ll see better when the smoke clears.
- Not ALL friendships/relationships are meant to last: You can spend years putting time, energy, and love into people and I promise you, they WILL disappoint you. It’s human nature, none of us are perfect. The number one thing that set’s us all up for disappointment and failure is putting our expectations on others. I’ve learned (finally, I have a hard head) that God doesn’t make mistakes. People are placed in our lives to teach us, grow us, and stretch us. Some friendships/relationships are meant for us only for a short period of time and others longer. Sometimes you get to a point in a relationship that you recognize the unhealthiness of it, that’s when you must have the courage and self-respect to walk away. Continuing to put energy into something or someone who is unhealthy and bringing negativity into your life isn’t good for any one not to mention a poison in your life.
- Adulting is HARD: Some “adults” refuse to grow up. They remain in high-school, some even in elementary; let’s ALL get out of the sand box people! Manipulation, lies, rumors, and just plain ol’ meanness is UNACCEPTABLE behavior for anyone but especially adults! Have you heard the saying “Hurt people hurt people”? So let’s deal with our hurt, let ourselves heal , and STOP the negative BS!!
- It REALLY is the little things: The “I love you’s” when leaving each other (even when running a quick errand), when your child does ANYTHING funny, loving, smart, or sincere 🙂 , the texts to say “I’m thinking of you”, holding hands with your person, holding hands with your child, the smell of grass after it rains, warm sand between your toes, dog kisses, growing something/anything yourself, dancing in the rain, road trips, beach trips, a great cheese, moist chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting, a good bottle of wine, a good whiskey…..With age you realize the little things aren’t so little.
So my wish this year is for the strength to live with grace, love, and compassion! Cheers to another year of learning, growing, and being stretched!
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Until next time Lovers!